Monday, February 4, 2013

A Modest Proposal: Breast Milk Could Save America

Dearest Americans, I humble submit this proposal as an out of box solution to several issues I perceive threatening to undermine the very integrity of and contribute to the instability of a great nation. The proposal is simple, replace the high volume of bovine produced milk fed to children throughout their primary and secondary educations with human breast milk.
I don't propose this to be shocking, or to titillate if you'll pardon the pun. I propose this instead for a number of reasons and benefits I'll attempt to describe following.
Process: Carefully monitored facilities would be set up that facilitate harvesting mother's milk after first establishing the mother's physical, dietary, and medical fitness to qualify as a contributing source. Mothers still lactating but no longer actively nursing offspring would qualify for applicant screening. Mothers would be paired with a trio of handlers called Milk Maids for milk collection, as familiarity with handlers makes for a more relaxed, comfortable experience, much as with Canadian Midwife practices, and of course Milk Mothers may request female only if so desired. Milk Mothers will stop by once to thrice a cay for collection, and collection will include both fore and back milk to ensure a comprehensive mix. Milk Mothers will be checked by qualified medical personnel, likely embodied by the Milk Maids themselves, before and after each pumping to ensure the safety, suitability, and well being of the Milk Mother. After collection, the milk with go through a process that includes extraction, filtering out antibodies and white blood cells and other beneficial elements, pasteurization of the stripped milk to render it neutral, and a subsequent invigoration through infusion of the extracted beneficial material to ensure all the benefits of human breast milk will be safely passed on to the consuming public down the line. The harvested stock is tested, inspected, and passed on to the greater inventory for subsequent packaging and distribution. No preservatives will be added, so the turn around time must be expedient, as the expiry date will be far more immediate than conventional dairy.
Economic Benefit: As sales increase and usage becomes commonplace, the demand will bring about a massive call for qualified Milk Mothers, affording a wealth of young women a new avenue of safe employment to better subsidize their Mat leaves, and of course requiring strict regulation to ensure an amply suitable pay scale to ensure contributing women can maintain safe, healthy, and secure lifestyles while providing milk for distribution.
Healthier Lifestyles: with the upsurge of mother's seeking employment as Milk Mothers, coupled with the strict dietary regimens required to participate as a valid source of commercial breast milk that exempt consuming anything processed, preservative rich, overtly fatty, or proffered as so called fast foods; the States would see an increase in healthier, more able bodied women less susceptible to illness, strokes, or cancer. Recreational, illicit, or prescription drug use use of any sort is of course strictly forbidden and screened for.
Cultural enlightenment: The likely early adopters of mass market commercially available human breast milk would be progressive or Green cities along the coastlines, and as the usage becomes more common place, the product will become fashionable, inevitably appearing in major retailers that hold mush of the consumer loyalty throughout the middle and mid-western states.
Green space: through reducing the number of dairy cattle needed to support the dairy industry, more land can be re-purposed for green belts, forestation, or at least agriculture. As more women become part of the industry, more demand for an emphasis on healthier foodstuffs will force changes upon how commercial retailers stock and price perishable goods, produce, and other edibles containing wholesome ingredients instead of preservatives, fillers, dyes, trans fats, or starches.
General Health: The innovative pasteurization process that extracts and re-posits the beneficial biological elements of the breast milk will pass the immunities and such on to the consumers, though non-antibody or immunity aspect infused versions will also be available for those leery of motherly immunities. As with yogurts, the variations of milk densities and styles of delivery will need options for diverse tastes, though as with yogurt products, never sacrificing quality or health benefit or artificial flavorings or colors or sugars such as might be found in many baby formulas currently on market. The reduced fat and same species aspects of breast milk make for leaner, healthier children, as they'll receive the full gamut of benefits from the milk rather than a select few like calcium available from bovine milk stuffs.
Through this simple industry America could reclaim an accountability that has been abducted by commercial enterprise for far too long. Through healthier living and consumption, American mothers and children might spend less time in hospital and have less risk of contamination from poor, insufficient, or inappropriate ingredients that might lead to catastrophic consequences in later years.
Through creating a new market space mothers with few options could enter an industry that would demand a maturity from them while rewarding them in kind for being so accountable, as well as reducing the number of welfare mothers, drug addict mothers, and junk food mothers.
The Dairy Industry has found growth and monetary gain through creating an illusion of sureness that the cow is our only answer for milk. I suggest that the fluid best suited to help human grow and develop comes not from bovine sources, but from human mothers themselves.
A nation that embraces, celebrates, demand quality from, and rewards amply it's mothers is a nation that will see generations aspiring to even further greatness.
For more information related to this notion, please visit the following links (kudos to my wife for them):
And if you're living in Canada, please sign the Breastfeeding Petition

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